Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A Message in Reply to a Lovely Death Threat!

This week's Smiling Atheist blog is a reply to a death threat that I recieved last week by a man who, on my blog anyway, referred to himself as Muhammad Shari Aleem.

Mr. Aleem,
I would like to thank you for your kind words on my blog last week regarding my ultimate demise at the rush of a blade followed by an eternity of torment. Such kind words from an obvious man of peace, as you referred to yourself. I also wanted to apologize for referring to Islam as a religion that makes religions in the US actually seem less bat shit. I didn't mean that. What I meant to say was, "Islam is a turd formally squatted from the ass of a pedophile, and it makes even Evangelicals seem sane."
Also, I would like to respond to your threat of parking a loaded truck outside my home.  First thing, you would fail, as there is only parking in front during predetermined hours, so you would most likely be towed and end up blowing up either a tow truck or a compact yard, either one, I'm personally okay with.  Now, if you were to decide to do this, could you use a truck full of your wonderful Muslim toilet paper?  Oh, wait, not a lot of you have toilet paper.  But we do...see right.

Now, I don't want to come off as an Anne Coulter minded individual with predetermined notions about Islam.  My notions are not preconceived.  My notions are well-studied and formally educated.  And I know that Islam is anything but a religion of peace, in fact, it's a pile of turds founded by a warmongering pedophile, whose bible is loaded with thousands of violent quotes and justifications for murder.  Even more so than the Old Testament.  Oh, speaking of, having been born Jewish, I bet this will piss you off even more.  That's right, I was born a damn dirty JEW!!!  Don't you like that?



Now, I'm a little tired of egging you on, so if you're going to do it, then do it.  If not, then just shut your primitive, cave-dwelling mouth and let me do what I do.  I pride myself on having an eloquent but funny blog that is enjoyed by many, but you people keep forcing me to get like this, which is not funny...well, it is, but it's not eloquent.  So, strap some bombs to your chest and blow me up or quit crying like a baby and act like you're being oppressed because I express facts as well as personal opinions on my own sites and pages.

Oh, and happy fucking belated Easter.

Congratulations, Mr. Aleem Akeem Shareem the African Dream, or whatever your name is; you are certainly BAT SHIT CRAZY!!!